Culebra, Puerto Rico

Here's a video to sum up our 10 days in Culebra:

10/27:

I definitely had a cold. My throat was really sore all night, I was sneezing and my nose was stuffy and I woke every couple hours. After having pneumonia this felt like nothing though. Once I got ready, packed and checked out of the hostel, I took the J-Train at 4:30 AM and then the Air train to JFK. The whole trip took one hour and 20 minutes. On the way I paid $4 for a bottle of water and at the airport freakin' $5.79. Insane! I was impressed with how good my energy level was despite the cold, sleep deprivation and jet lag. At the airport I was very happy to see these automatic plastic toilet seat covers! The only place I've seen these before was at the Chicago Airport.

I was happy the flight was only 4 hours. I didn't realize San Juan was straight down from New York, so no time difference. That'll give me more time to adjust. I listened to music and blew my nose the whole flight. American Airlines was more spacious than any other airline I've flown with lately. I went from wet and cold New York to beautiful and warm Puerto Rico where it was 28°C and I flew through big white fluffy clouds. Luckily I didn't get a migrane while descending, which I usually get if I fly when I'm stuffy.

When I landed, I immediately went into the bathroom and started taking off the layers. The airport felt bright and happy. Once I checked in, I got a salad and hot water for my Chinese herbs. They gave me the hot water for free as opposed to JFK where they charged me $0.60. Shortly after, my hubby arrived from Maui and we met at the gate for our connecting flight to Culebra at 4:44 PM. We were very happy to see each other again after 4 months apart.

The airplane to Culebra was so small, the smallest either of us have ever flown in... it felt more like a helicopter ride. It was so beautiful flying over the ocean and islands and seeing all the beaches. 

Our Air BnB host coordinated a ride for us to our rental and we stopped by a convenience store on the way to get some water and food.

10/28:

Culebra was very hot and muggy, kind of like Kihei in Maui. I can't imagine what it's like in the summer! The island is so small you can drive around it in an hour. It is very laid back, low class and slow - businesses do not answer their phones a lot of the time, everything closes at 9 PM, the service at restaurants is very slow and everything is pretty overpriced. The bird sounds in the morning are so unique here and there are tons of roosters. It's a pretty noisy neighborhood - even if you go to a practically deserted island it can be hard to get away from machines...

We stayed at an Air BnB called "Flamboyan of Villa Patria". It was nice, clean and self-contained, but located up a steep hill, so best to rent a car to get around.

The first day we took it easy and got settled in. We meditated for 30 minutes in the morning. I was still stuffy and had a sore throat but managed to stay pretty active anyway without much effort. 

We walked all the way up a long steep hill to get some lunch at a place called "Krusty Krab", only to find out they were closed and didn't open until 5:30 PM!

So we walked back down the hill in the heat and humidity and went home and had ramen noodles instead. It started to rain, so it was a good thing we didn't go back out to try another restaurant. It's supposed to rain every day the whole time we're here... Once it cooled down, we walked down the hill and asked around and got a taxi ride to a restaurant where they served fish. The food was tasty, but greasy... We tried mofongo (fried plantains) for the first time. It was fun to hear the Latin music! Lots of dogs and cats on the streets. Taxis are only $3 per person here.

10/29:

Another easy-going day. Woke up around 6 AM to this beautiful sunrise. I feel really calm here.

No rain today! We tried to rent a car but there was nothing available until the next day, so we were stuck in the house again. We watched "Bad Moms" which was really good. I wasn't as stuffy and my throat wasn't as sore, but I had developed a bit of a cough. I had pretty normal energy.

In the evening we took a taxi to a nicer restaurant called "Club Seabourne Restaurante" by a hotel and split a giant lobster!

10/30:

I rented a car in the morning and drove around to try to find a grocery store while my hubby slept in to recover from jet lag. There are hardly any stop signs, no street signs and no prices listed in the grocery stores.

After getting food and water I drove home and made us lunch and then we went out to explore Flamenco Beach. It was perfect - the water was turquoise, warm and calm, the sand was whiter than the beaches on Maui, not too many people, not too windy... Ah, finally back at the beach!

Then we drove up the hill to Krusty Krab again to try the food, while jamming out to Britney Spears. We both love her new album, "Glory" so much! The sunset and view was gorgeous, but there were too many mosquitoes, so we got some fish tacos to go after a loooong wait in the car. They were the BEST fish tacos ever - I had no idea! Totally worth the wait. It is very easy to get ripped off here if you are a tourist. They owed us $20 back in change for the food, but tried giving us $10. We are learning the hard way to always check the receipts at the grocery stores - since you don't know how much anything costs until after you pay and there are no digital monitors when you check out, it is easy for them to add things to the receipts that you didn't buy. When we went to the convenience store the other day, they charged us for 44 cans of tuna instead of four. When we got the lobster they added on an extra $7.50... Sneaky...

10/31:

I started the morning by doing my breathing exercises. It was another hot and muggy day without rain, so we went snorkeling at Melones Beach. There wasn't much to see under the water, but we did see a few small colorful fish and a mantaré (my first time!). Then we went the store, the bank and Zaco's Tacos and indulged in delicious shrimp/crab nachos.

We told the bartender about our experiences with getting ripped off, so as a joke he gave us this receipt after our meal:

We meditated in the evening for 30 minutes, I gave Zen a massage and we watched "Magic Mike".

11/1:

We drove over to check out Zoni's Beach today even though it was overcast. We left very quickly after jumping in the water because there was a lot of seaweed, coral and mosquitoes... and a small tornado!

We ate at Zaco's Tacos again for lunch.

Afterward we went to Flamenco Beach while there was thunder and lightning. When we got home it started pouring rain and I made dinner and got a massage from Zen.

11/2:

We spent the day at Flamenco Beach - the weather was perfect, the waves were big and soft without an undertow, the sun was out, there was a nice breeze, the water was clear and oh, so warm... We walked on the beach and chased eachother and jumped in the ocean whenever we felt like it. I felt so free and happy that I could run again after being sick and felt strong in my body. When we came home, Zen made us a delicious dinner and we watched a movie called "Keanu" about a kitten and it rained again. Ah, life is good...

11/3:

I worked on my needle-point in the morning and painted my nails blue (while Zen took a nap) and then I went for a drive to explore more of the island, but it turns out there's really not much more to explore. And I thought MAUI was small... So I went to the grocery store and drove back home.

In the evening we saw another stunning sunset and watched "The Huntsman" and "No Strings Attached".



11/4:

We had lunch at Zaco's Tacos again, went to Flamenco Beach and watched "Waking Life" in the evening. Such an incredibly mind opening philosophical movie. Zen had seen it three times before and I saw it with my dad when I was a kid.

Fun stools at Zaco's Tacos :)

11/5:
We spent most of the day on the phone with T-Mobile trying to resolve an issue and it was driving Zen crazy because it wasn't going anywhere and the call kept getting disconnected and it was a waste of time. We went for a swim at Flamenco Beach for the last time, made dinner, watched a French movie and packed. 10 days felt like a good amount of time in Culebra and we felt ready to leave. It was a wonderful and relaxing stay!
 

Where is Home?

Reflecting upon the question, "Where is home?" Is it where your possessions are? Possessions are just things weighing you down... Is it where your cats are? Is it where you feel the most familiar and speak the language? Is it where your family is? Is it where your partner is? Is it where your best friends are? A house is really just a place with walls. Is home simply inside of us? Having moved and traveled so much in my life and having all my loved ones spread out all over the world and constantly separating from people and missing people, this is and has always been a question of mine.

Back to New York

10/24:
Wow, these past five days in Sweden have gone by so fast I've barely been able to absorb what's going on, along with the emotions that come along with it... I woke up and did my breathing exercises and then I meditated with my mom. She has a postcard tarot deck and I got these three cards:

I interpret this one as Pele, Passion and Power erupting...

...with Love...

...and Laughter...

...and protecting myself from danger and fighting the challenges that come up with grace and ease.

I was also really touched because my mom gave me this gold heart necklace with a pink diamond, that was given to her by her mother:

We went out for lunch around 11:30 AM in Liljeholmen. I finished packing when I came home and my mom and I had time to cuddle and cry for 15 minutes before Carina came and drove me to the airport. So emotional and hard to leave... Carina and I enjoyed connecting on the way over. Once I checked in, I had dinner and made sure to eat one of these chocolate balls (on my Sweden bucket list):

The flight was about 8 hours and uncomfortable, as flying always is, but it was still a good experience flying with Norwegian Airlines - they were friendly, they filled up my water bottle several times with a good attitude, I got free food (how rare is THAT nowadays??), it was warm so I didn't even have to wear a jacket, I watched two movies ("The Fault in our Stars" and "Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates" again) and listened to music. I sat in the middle of the airplane between two people, which is unusual for me. I tried to think about what the plus side was, and realized it's that you get more chances to get up and pee when the other person goes. If you sit by the window you have to bother people all the time and if you sit by the aisle you have to BE bothered. I'm always baffled at how little water most people drink and how seldom they seem to need to use the bathroom.

Once I arrived at 8:30 PM (NY time), I had complications with my phone. I switched the SIM card back to my American one and apparently my account was now suspended for some reason. I couldn't get a hold of my main contact with T-Mobile or work it out with customer service right then and there, and had to be on hold for a long time, and just wanted to get to the hostel, so I paid $60 for a new SIM card that is good for a month...

The trip to the hostel took almost two hours... I took the air train from JFK, and then the subway. There was a nice older man who had just flown from Paris with Norwegian, who started talking to me and looking at a map and voluntarily helping me with directions. Then I kept asking other people until I found my way. The subway system was more complicated than I expected. There were so many places they didn't have an elevator or escalator, so I had to pull my heavy suitcase up the stairs. Luckily people were friendly enough to help me with it.

I finally made it to the Bowery House hostel around 12:30 AM (6:30 AM my time) and there were yet even more stairs! They really need an elevator there with so many travelers coming and going... I had to drag my suitcase up several flights of stairs to the 2nd floor to check in, then back down to the 1st floor to my room, which was a tiny cubicle with a bed and a nightstand and just enough room for my suitcase. Somebody was snoring really loudly next door, so I wore earplugs. Nothing like my cheap fancy hotel room in Madeira ;) At least they had WiFi.

The men's bathroom was on the same floor, but the women's bathroom was on the 2nd floor, so to get up and pee at night I had to go all the way upstairs. The bathrooms were pretty nasty. For $70 a night, I think it was a bit overpriced but hey, that's New York...  especially booking last minute. I just laughed at the experience and was happy to finally lay my head down. Then I woke up with energy after four hours... jet lag... Since I'm already jet lagged and will continue traveling I'm not too concerned about getting into a routine with my sleep. 

I am trusting more and more that everything works out exactly as it is meant to... even if I don't know exactly what that looks like.

10/25:

I was able to fall back asleep for a couple more hours in the morning, which was nice. The showers are actually great at the hostel, the bathrooms were cleaner today, and there was also a small bottle of water by the bed which was generous. The staff is very friendly. I'm so happy I have my own room (even though it's small) and and don't have to share with strangers. It's my first time staying at a hostel. This feels a bit like camping.

At 10 AM, I asked the receptionist if she recommended any good places for breakfast and she said "The Butcher's Daughter" a couple blocks away. So I went and it was a very hip and healthy place. I got some hot water for my Chinese herbs too. The city felt too overwhelming, so as soon as I was done eating I went back and locked myself in my room and breathed and centered myself.

Then I went back out again to hunt for lunch and water... New York is too crazy, noisy and busy - I really kind of hate it. It's good for bringing you out of yourself though. And it was pretty cold and windy. It feels kind of like some sort of "robot land" where everyone rushes around with a blank look on their faces. After a lot of wandering around searching for a good place to eat (and checking out the fashion in the stores on the way), I bought a big portion of falafel and rice for only $5, that was enough for lunch and dinner, and found a Whole Foods nearby the hostel where I bought snacks and water for my room. After I went home and ate and did my nails, I felt more grounded.

Around 5 PM I took the subway (getting more familiar with the system) and had to do a lot of walking in the cold to get to the Broadway Dance Center to take Yanis Marshall's class at 6 PM. I'm not really equipped for this weather since I was borrowing warm clothes in Sweden. The class was so much fun and I'm so happy I did it. It was the first time I took a dance class since I got sick and the nice thing is my little injuries have all healed too during the break. Fresh start! I could watch Yanis all day. The class was Intermediate/Advanced so it was a little hard to keep up, especially since my brain is not as used to picking up choreography anymore, but it wasn't as hard as I expected. It was really fun to wear my new heels. I was reminded of how much ego there is in the dance world and seeing how much I've grown after being so ego-driven with my dance and searching for approval from others and myself and perfectionism.

I wanted to take an Uber home so I didn't have to be out in the cold, but had complications because my new phone number was not updated on my account so I couldn't contact or locate the driver. So after two failed attempts, I gave up and just walked to the subway and took it back to the hostel. You would think the subway stations would be closer to each other, but they're quite far apart. I was very happy to return to my little cubicle safely and I was so tired and jet lagged and went to bed at 10 PM. But hey, I did it!

10/26:

I got a full night's sleep. Sore from yesterday's class. Felt like I was starting to catch a cold... Good thing I'm going to an island tomorrow and that my hubby will be there. I put on more layers of clothes and got creative and used my sarong as a scarf. Took tons of immunity boosters and a hot shower. At noon I went to visit my mom's friend, Carman Moore, a composer. I took the subway and ended up at Lexington an hour later because the Google map directions were inaccurate. Apparently there are three different kinds of subways in NY. I called Carman who told me I was on the wrong side of town and needed to take the bus, but it seemed way to time consuming and complicated, so I took an Uber to Columbus Ave for only $6. Much better. When I got to his place I met his guests, a Danish singer and a Danish film composer. They were preparing for and organizing a "Transformation Festival" for this coming weekend. Carman had a massage chair, which I was very happy to have the opportunity to take advantage of, while he played me some of his compositions.

Then the four of us went for a walk in Central Park. It was nice to socialize a bit and be in nature.

The ride back on the subway was confusing because they skipped my stop, I think because they were doing construction there. So I went too far and had to figure out how to get back. The good thing was that I got to see the Statue of Liberty through the window. I found a cheap and healthy place on the way back to the hostel and got a smoothie and tofu salad to eat in the lobby. They were showing a scary movie, "Child's Play" on TV that I got sucked into watching. Then I went to bed at 8 PM because I needed to get up at 3:30 AM the next day to catch my flight.

The U-Turn Back Home

10/19:
Back in Sweden in the intellectual energy. I feel like I woke up from a dream or trance and got my brain back. My husband and I decided randomly to meet in Puerto Rico on the way home, so we spent literally all day calling and texting and booking flights and Air BnB. Challenging with the time difference, so when he was sleeping I was doing research and vice versa. I didn't even get dressed or shower until the evening, just sat on the couch in my PJ's since the moment I woke up. Funny, I was listening to Christina Aguilera's song "Infatuation" yesterday on the plane and she sings "Let him take me to Puerto Rico" and now we're going there!

I also planned and booked my trip to New York and leave on Monday already. Luckily I feel strong enough after the pneumonia to make the long journey back home and can walk quickly with a backpack no problem. I did so much internal work when I got sick and now that the body is catching up and reminding me of what it feels like to be physically strong again, I feel invincible and so appreciative of my health and spiritual growth.

10/20:
Took it easy today. Feels good to be back in a more familiar country before I continue traveling. After being on an island, Stockholm is a good warmup for NY, since it's a smaller city. Did my breathing exercises, watched "Friends" with my mom in the morning, we both took naps, went out for sushi and meditated with the Quakers for 30 minutes. So freakin' cold and grey! Happy to be getting out of here soon...

10/21:
Started the day watching "Friends" again. 

In the evening my mom and I went for a walk and I went to Liljeholmen and bought a new pair of shoes for the heels dance class I'll be taking from Yanis Marshall in NY. 

Then I went to the Blues Jam at Sankta Clara in Gamla Stan, but turned out it was more of a concert than a jam and it was too packed and stuffy, so I left and prioritized getting some more quality time with my mom.

10/22:

I went to a Quakers "Follow Your Life Path" workshop from 10 AM-4 PM. It was a really good experience. In the beginning I felt a little insecure around the people because I didn't know them and I was young in comparison. But once we started doing the exercises and opening up about our dilemmas, problems and life philosophies I felt more connected. I love how they incorporated so much silence, meditation and listening and slowed things down. We ate and worked together as a team in silence together, creating a feeling of unity and community without having the pressure to say anything, and allowing everyone to stay in their own contemplative internal state.

In the evening (the other) Isa came over for dinner. We had such a great time, the three of us, sharing stories about our travels. She's so inspiring - she's only 22 and takes any job and travels all over the world and goes for whatever she feels.

10/23:

I meditated in the morning for 15 minutes, then spent a lot of time booking my flight to go visit my best friend, Nicole in Santa Barbara after Puerto Rico. Unfortunately all the flights stopped in the East Coast, which is ridiculous, so I have to fly to Philadelphia first and it will be an 11 hour flight. Boo! The whole point of me stopping on the way to Maui was to not have to fly so much at once. Oh well... All the flights to Maui from Puerto Rico are the same way.

I vacuumed and cleaned the bathroom and then went to visit Anders and Jill to say goodbye since I'm leaving tomorrow. We had dinner and watched a short film called "The Egg", a philosophical movie about life and death. In the evening my mom and I watched "Friends" and ate pie.

Ribeira Brava, Madeira

Here's a video to sum up my week in Madeira:

10/11:
Woke up five minutes before the alarm at 3:50 AM and my heart was pounding. I had 20 minutes to catch the night bus and I made it. Felt such a feeling of freedom - I was finally doing it! Facing my fear... After so many months of patience, research and figuring out where to go, and years of feeling the desire to impulsively travel on my own to an unknown place and follow my gut, it was the perfect time to spread my wings. Coming out of the cocoon. It felt like a death and rebirth after the pneumonia - feeling pretty much back to normal after 8 weeks, and appreciating my strength and health and testing my boundaries. I predicted I'd be well enough to fly around the 10th and I was right. 

While on the bus, this old song from the Eurovision Song Contest in 2001 started playing on the radio:

"Listen to your heartbeat
It will take you higher
Follow your emotions
I know you'll get stronger

Listen to your heartbeat
Your feeling will guide you
Hold on to devotion
I know it's inside you"

 

Pretty suiting for this time of growth in my life.

God, I should've listened to my mother and borrowed her smaller suitcase on wheels... my backpack was so heavy... The whole concept of "backpacking in Europe" I just don't get. Why the hell would anyone want to carry everything on their back? So much walking in the airport and I was worried about my stamina after pneumonia. Stupid of me.

The check-in went really smooth and I arrived way too early, 1.25 hours. Darn, so tired...

It was a 4.5 hour flight and I watched a movie called "The Intern". It was nice to see all the Swedes so happy to be going on vacation and getting away from the cold. Everyone applauded when we arrived :)

Once I landed I was in awe. The psychic that gave me a reading before I left Maui, pulled a card with a picture of an island and said, "You're going there!" and Madeira actually looks pretty much like the picture! I think I even recall there being white birds on the picture... there is something really special about watching the birds here - just a feeling of freedom and beauty.

I took the shuttle from the airport 40 minutes and was accompanied by an English couple.

I had lunch right outside the hotel and the menu was in Portuguese and the guy hardly spoke English, so I ordered the only thing I understood what it was: tostas (toast).

Oh. My. God!!! I have fallen in love. I literally feel like I am in love and dreamy. I feel in love with myself and very content with my own presence. Sensual and enjoying every second. ♡♡♡ The temperature is very pleasant, chillier than Maui, but warm in the sun and very windy. I love the Cheerfulway Bravamar Hotel and it is better than I expected, I cannot get enough of the ocean view from my window (which I am very happy I paid a little extra for!), the people are so warm and calm. The ocean... The expansive open feeling...

View from my room

I took the longest shower ever when I got to my hotel room and enjoyed just wasting the water without having to think about it being anyone else's or my own, that I have to pay for. So nice to be in my own space and not think about anyone else, after having lived with people for 4 months. Staying at a hotel you get to have the freedom of an adult and the irresponsibility of a child. I enjoyed a really nice dinner with great service and walked around to familiarize myself with what was nearby in the town of Ribeira Brava. I learned the most important word in Portuguese: "obrigada" ("thank you") and giggled every time I said it. Nighttime was breathtaking too. Nice to have the window open in my room and hear the ocean and the sounds from the town. The moon was in my sign, Aquarius.

I sat in the lobby in the evening (since there is no WiFi in my room) and blogged and bragged to all my friends and chatted with people at the hotel. There were a lot of Swedes since it was a Charter flight.

 

Of course we as humans automatically think, "How can I hold on to this feeling? Move here... get a job here..." I didn't want to leave. But everything is temporary  - you just have to enjoy it. 

10/12:

Only got about four hours of sleep for some reason, so I was really tired but thought it would be boring and a waste of time to be sleeping in my hotel room, so I went and had breakfast at the buffet (which wasn't that great) and then went out to the ocean. The water was pretty warm actually!

I walked around town and ran some errands and bought a big jug of water and fruit from the supermarket right around the corner. Walked inside this beautiful church:

The exciting feeling of newness was already starting to fade (sucks being human), but I still loved it and started feeling more at home. I absolutely love that everything you need is walking distance from the hotel and the ocean is right there. The people are so friendly, innocent and cute and even if we don't speak the same language, we do our best and somehow manage to get the message across and giggle if we don't. I am seriously thinking about staying longer. Unfortunately it's supposed to rain the rest of the week and thunder/lightning next week.

I felt my immune system was fighting something, so I rested deeply but didn't fall asleep. I went to the pharmacy to get some Vitamin C and immunity boosters. I ate some really good garlic fish and chips at Restaurante Concord and was accompanied by Paulo's connections who were super friendly and open. Luckily they had some time off from work because of a death in the family, so it was perfect timing. They're going to take me walking in the mountains tomorrow. The daughter, Susanna works on a cruise ship... the psychic said I might get a job on boat... hm...

I watched the sunset from my window, took a long bath in the evening and shaved my legs for the first time in two months since I got sick, haha! I could get used to this... not having to cook, clean, pay utility bills or transportation/gas/car insurance. Everything you need is walking distance.

10/13:

It turned out to be the hottest most beautiful day even though it was supposed to rain! I slept in, ate this incredible huge mango for breakfast, had lunch at the same restaurant as yesterday and went to the beach and swam in the ocean. It was pretty cold, but refreshing! I didn't hear from my new friends, so no hiking in the mountains.

10/14:

Didn't sleep that well again... must be the full moon. Another beautiful sunny day, except the rain finally came in the afternoon which was actually really nice, cozy and romantic. I tried a new restaurant by the ocean, which was terrible and they were rude. I won't go back there... I managed to get some sun on the beach before it started raining and then put on some music and took a bath. Went out to get some more groceries and tried the fish soup at my favorite place. Nice on a rainy day... Feeling more grounded here now. Went for a sunset walk by the ocean, then spent the evening dancing and singing in my hotel room.

10/15:

Super tired today... been averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night, going to bed around 11 PM and waking up around 3 AM... Maybe it's the noise from outside my window? I'm going to try earplugs tonight and see if that helps. I did my breathing exercises, went out for lunch, took a little nap and went out for dinner. 

10/16:

I finally got a good night's sleep, even though I woke up a few times. Used earplugs. Stormy today!! It finally happened... we were lucky the good weather lasted as long as it did. There were safety warnings to not go anywhere because of possible rocks or floods from the mountains. Hurricane Nicole - 1776 miles from here...

Hung out in the lobby and my hotel room and danced, sang, watched TV and worked on my needle-point.

Luckily I had some leftovers from last night that I could have for lunch. The weather cleared up in the evening so I was able to go out for dinner.

10/17:

I was a nervous wreck today trying to decide if I wanted to stay longer or take the return flight home tomorrow. I hate making decisions under pressure. It's all a blur honestly. I lay down on the bed and it felt like the room was spinning. I took an anxiety pill which helped. In the evening I finally decided to leave the next day.

10/18:

At the airport in Funchal. I got up at 8 AM and packed my things and got the receptionist to order a shuttle for me at 10:45 AM. I returned the fork and knife I borrowed from the nice waitress at Restaurante Concord, had a little breakfast, jumped on the bed and sang, enjoyed my gorgeous view, walked by the ocean and was on my way. Ciao Madeira, you majestic dreamy fantasy island of love ♡♡♡ Obrigada