Back to New York

10/24:
Wow, these past five days in Sweden have gone by so fast I've barely been able to absorb what's going on, along with the emotions that come along with it... I woke up and did my breathing exercises and then I meditated with my mom. She has a postcard tarot deck and I got these three cards:

I interpret this one as Pele, Passion and Power erupting...

...with Love...

...and Laughter...

...and protecting myself from danger and fighting the challenges that come up with grace and ease.

I was also really touched because my mom gave me this gold heart necklace with a pink diamond, that was given to her by her mother:

We went out for lunch around 11:30 AM in Liljeholmen. I finished packing when I came home and my mom and I had time to cuddle and cry for 15 minutes before Carina came and drove me to the airport. So emotional and hard to leave... Carina and I enjoyed connecting on the way over. Once I checked in, I had dinner and made sure to eat one of these chocolate balls (on my Sweden bucket list):

The flight was about 8 hours and uncomfortable, as flying always is, but it was still a good experience flying with Norwegian Airlines - they were friendly, they filled up my water bottle several times with a good attitude, I got free food (how rare is THAT nowadays??), it was warm so I didn't even have to wear a jacket, I watched two movies ("The Fault in our Stars" and "Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates" again) and listened to music. I sat in the middle of the airplane between two people, which is unusual for me. I tried to think about what the plus side was, and realized it's that you get more chances to get up and pee when the other person goes. If you sit by the window you have to bother people all the time and if you sit by the aisle you have to BE bothered. I'm always baffled at how little water most people drink and how seldom they seem to need to use the bathroom.

Once I arrived at 8:30 PM (NY time), I had complications with my phone. I switched the SIM card back to my American one and apparently my account was now suspended for some reason. I couldn't get a hold of my main contact with T-Mobile or work it out with customer service right then and there, and had to be on hold for a long time, and just wanted to get to the hostel, so I paid $60 for a new SIM card that is good for a month...

The trip to the hostel took almost two hours... I took the air train from JFK, and then the subway. There was a nice older man who had just flown from Paris with Norwegian, who started talking to me and looking at a map and voluntarily helping me with directions. Then I kept asking other people until I found my way. The subway system was more complicated than I expected. There were so many places they didn't have an elevator or escalator, so I had to pull my heavy suitcase up the stairs. Luckily people were friendly enough to help me with it.

I finally made it to the Bowery House hostel around 12:30 AM (6:30 AM my time) and there were yet even more stairs! They really need an elevator there with so many travelers coming and going... I had to drag my suitcase up several flights of stairs to the 2nd floor to check in, then back down to the 1st floor to my room, which was a tiny cubicle with a bed and a nightstand and just enough room for my suitcase. Somebody was snoring really loudly next door, so I wore earplugs. Nothing like my cheap fancy hotel room in Madeira ;) At least they had WiFi.

The men's bathroom was on the same floor, but the women's bathroom was on the 2nd floor, so to get up and pee at night I had to go all the way upstairs. The bathrooms were pretty nasty. For $70 a night, I think it was a bit overpriced but hey, that's New York...  especially booking last minute. I just laughed at the experience and was happy to finally lay my head down. Then I woke up with energy after four hours... jet lag... Since I'm already jet lagged and will continue traveling I'm not too concerned about getting into a routine with my sleep. 

I am trusting more and more that everything works out exactly as it is meant to... even if I don't know exactly what that looks like.

10/25:

I was able to fall back asleep for a couple more hours in the morning, which was nice. The showers are actually great at the hostel, the bathrooms were cleaner today, and there was also a small bottle of water by the bed which was generous. The staff is very friendly. I'm so happy I have my own room (even though it's small) and and don't have to share with strangers. It's my first time staying at a hostel. This feels a bit like camping.

At 10 AM, I asked the receptionist if she recommended any good places for breakfast and she said "The Butcher's Daughter" a couple blocks away. So I went and it was a very hip and healthy place. I got some hot water for my Chinese herbs too. The city felt too overwhelming, so as soon as I was done eating I went back and locked myself in my room and breathed and centered myself.

Then I went back out again to hunt for lunch and water... New York is too crazy, noisy and busy - I really kind of hate it. It's good for bringing you out of yourself though. And it was pretty cold and windy. It feels kind of like some sort of "robot land" where everyone rushes around with a blank look on their faces. After a lot of wandering around searching for a good place to eat (and checking out the fashion in the stores on the way), I bought a big portion of falafel and rice for only $5, that was enough for lunch and dinner, and found a Whole Foods nearby the hostel where I bought snacks and water for my room. After I went home and ate and did my nails, I felt more grounded.

Around 5 PM I took the subway (getting more familiar with the system) and had to do a lot of walking in the cold to get to the Broadway Dance Center to take Yanis Marshall's class at 6 PM. I'm not really equipped for this weather since I was borrowing warm clothes in Sweden. The class was so much fun and I'm so happy I did it. It was the first time I took a dance class since I got sick and the nice thing is my little injuries have all healed too during the break. Fresh start! I could watch Yanis all day. The class was Intermediate/Advanced so it was a little hard to keep up, especially since my brain is not as used to picking up choreography anymore, but it wasn't as hard as I expected. It was really fun to wear my new heels. I was reminded of how much ego there is in the dance world and seeing how much I've grown after being so ego-driven with my dance and searching for approval from others and myself and perfectionism.

I wanted to take an Uber home so I didn't have to be out in the cold, but had complications because my new phone number was not updated on my account so I couldn't contact or locate the driver. So after two failed attempts, I gave up and just walked to the subway and took it back to the hostel. You would think the subway stations would be closer to each other, but they're quite far apart. I was very happy to return to my little cubicle safely and I was so tired and jet lagged and went to bed at 10 PM. But hey, I did it!

10/26:

I got a full night's sleep. Sore from yesterday's class. Felt like I was starting to catch a cold... Good thing I'm going to an island tomorrow and that my hubby will be there. I put on more layers of clothes and got creative and used my sarong as a scarf. Took tons of immunity boosters and a hot shower. At noon I went to visit my mom's friend, Carman Moore, a composer. I took the subway and ended up at Lexington an hour later because the Google map directions were inaccurate. Apparently there are three different kinds of subways in NY. I called Carman who told me I was on the wrong side of town and needed to take the bus, but it seemed way to time consuming and complicated, so I took an Uber to Columbus Ave for only $6. Much better. When I got to his place I met his guests, a Danish singer and a Danish film composer. They were preparing for and organizing a "Transformation Festival" for this coming weekend. Carman had a massage chair, which I was very happy to have the opportunity to take advantage of, while he played me some of his compositions.

Then the four of us went for a walk in Central Park. It was nice to socialize a bit and be in nature.

The ride back on the subway was confusing because they skipped my stop, I think because they were doing construction there. So I went too far and had to figure out how to get back. The good thing was that I got to see the Statue of Liberty through the window. I found a cheap and healthy place on the way back to the hostel and got a smoothie and tofu salad to eat in the lobby. They were showing a scary movie, "Child's Play" on TV that I got sucked into watching. Then I went to bed at 8 PM because I needed to get up at 3:30 AM the next day to catch my flight.